Yeah, that could happen to me.

So there I was, sitting on the dock, fishing pole in hand, cold brew and the sun coming up when it hit me. Literally, something falls out of the sky, and hits me. So I'm all like, what the fuck, you know. I still to this day don't know what it is. I keep it in a case in my office. Honestly, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You see, one minute I'm sitting there by the lake, and the next thing I know I'm in a freakin' ambulance. Flying through town, sirens blaring, machines beeping... an ambulance, for Christ's sake.
Now I know, you're thinking, what the hell does that do to suggest that this is the best thing that ever happened to me right? Well, shut up and I'll tell you.
So I'm riding in the ambulance, flying off to the emergency room. Well, I get to the hospital and I am like all strapped down and I can't move and people are all screaming and I can tell there's blood and a lot of it by the way I keep blacking out and coming too, right. And they're all talking like, oh she was drinking, and we found this thing and what the hell is that. So I make it into the local paper, and all of a sudden, I'm a freaking celebrity. Scientists want to know what the heck this thing is, I get a commercial deal for Coors cause of all the publicity, and the next thing you know, I'm quitting my job and getting more ass than you can imagine. Yeah, a bit more interesting now, huh?
So I'm riding the wave of success in light of being smashed in the head by some random object when I remember I didn't get to finish fishing. Not that it was all that important, but I grabbed the hottest ass I could find and bought myself a damn fishing boat right. Well, it turns out that this guy is heir to some lotion fortune or something, and here I am in Bermuda chilling on the beach. Just married.
Yeah, that could happen to me.